New School Jitters

School is starting next Tuesday and I’m starting to get a little (more) anxious. Yesterday I spent a few hours on the campus: I paid for my summer class (Sociology 101, 3 credits), registered for my fall classes (Statistics, 3 credits and Principles of Biology, 4 credits), and picked up my parking pass and student ID. (I hate the picture on my ID; I always forget how much my body has changed since having Eve until I see a recent photo of myself. It’s not that I don’t like my body anymore, it’s just that it’s…so different. I’ve lost 20 pounds since having her and I’m still 20 pounds heavier than I was before getting pregnant.)

You could say that I’m a little overly eager to start the semester; I downloaded a flashcard app (check it out here, it’s actually pretty effin awesome) to my phone last night and created flashcards for all the vocabulary in the first two chapters of my sociology textbook. It’s not that I’m an overachiever (honestly); it’s that I’m a control freak. I want to know that I’m going to get into the nursing program when I apply. I don’t want to spend several weeks wondering “Did I make it? Am I in? Can I quit* my job now?” And since admission is based solely on GPA, the only way for me to guarantee my admission is to get the highest GPA one can possibly earn. My goal, every semester, is to score an A in every class. So I’m studying now, four days before my first class even begins, because I intend to ace Sociology 101.

This is all kind of unreal. On May 17th, when we had that disappointing encounter with Eve’s pediatrician, this whole school thing was not in The Plan. I had no idea a month ago that I’d be enrolled in a school and turning our entire lives upside down (not necessarily in a bad way, but as I’ve mentioned before, this requires some pretty big changes) in order to support my ability to see this through.

And scoring As in all my prereqs and general reqs is just the beginning. After that I still have two more years of nursing practice, then I have to pass the NCLEX-RN exam, then I have to find a job, accrue 1000 hours working with lactating mothers, take lactation classes, sit for the IBCLE exam (which only comes once a year), find a job as a lactation consultant, and start and somehow fund a nonprofit… I’m trying not to hyperventilate just fuckin thinking about it! Thank goodness I’m young, because this is going to take a while.

I’m nervous, but confident, that I can do this. At this point I’m just chomping at the bit to get started.

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*With the way that the nursing program is scheduled with corequisites and such, it would be impossible for me to enter the program and still work at my current company. I will have to quit and Marcus would be the primary breadwinner for the next two years. I might get a part-time job (or maybe even work as a La Leche League Leader) at the same time but may opt to just be a full-time student if we can swing it.

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3 Responses to “New School Jitters”

  1. Nicole Says:

    Baby, don’t get so ahead of yourself. Try your best to take it day by day. When your brain starts panicking, thinking about everything that needs to happen in the next few years, picture putting those worries in a box and set them aside. Think about what you have to do RIGHT NOW. And tomorrow, think about what you have to do then. Your stress level will stay down if you can find ways to control your need to control.

    I love you. Go get ’em girl.

  2. Nicole Says:

    I know babe, but if you think about the whole list, your brain is going to ‘splode. Get one or two things accomplished at a time, and take deep breaths. Remember that no matter what happens, EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY. Period. No matter what.

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