I Haz a Twitter

Follow me at twitter.com/shehasmyeyes.

It’s going to be a slow posting week. We moved (which took a hellish 10+ hours because I reserved a truck HALF the size that we needed), so now life is full of unpacking (we’re halfway finished unpacking already, which is AMAZING for us), cleaning up the old apartment, and moving stuff in and out of storage. Marcus and I are tense, stressed, and overwhelmed; poor Eve has been clingy and whiny, unnerved by all of the changes around her.

I would just like to fast forward to a month from now, when we feel more settled and are comfortable in our daily routines. I hate this transitional period. This is my third or fourth move in five years, and somehow it just never gets any easier.

Dear Mama

[Image description: A screenshot of a tweet from user @Matervan that says, “Totally inappropriate some lady #Breastfeeding her kid at #Starkbucks. I called her out and embarrassed her. This needs to stop!”]

I don’t know who you are. 

I don’t know if you’re black, or gay, or trans, or have a disability, or are poor. I don’t know if you breastfeed your child because you would feel guilty* if you didn’t, or because you like to do it, or because you can’t afford not to do it (or all three!). I don’t know if the nursing relationship that you share with your child came easily or if you had to struggle to achieve it. I don’t know if your friends and family have given you the support that you need in order to maintain that relationship.

I don’t know if your decision to nurse in public was made with trepidation. I don’t know if you only did it because your baby was hungry and you felt you had no other choice. I don’t know if you do it all the time because you already know that there’s nothing shameful in it.

And I don’t know what this asshole said to you to embarrass you. But whatever it was, I wish I could tell you in person that he is wrong. Breastfeeding your child in a Starbucks is not inappropriate. Breastfeeding your child in public does not need to stop. Your relationship with your child is sacred and should be respected as such. You do not need to hide your breasts, your milk, or your nursing relationship for anyone.

It’s breastfeeding awareness month. Thank you for nursing in public. I’m sorry that it has cost you to do so.

—

*I really hope that guilt is not the reason. Making women feel guilty over the decisions they make with their bodies is such a popular method of controlling them, even in so-called progressive and women-friendly movements like lactivism.

Hat-tip to Elita of Blacktating for bringing this tweet to my attention.